"Soldiers dying in Iraq are dying to defend the US against terrorism as a victory in Iraq is a victory in the war on terror. They are dying to defend freedom and democracy in the US and to spread freedom and democracy to Iraq. They are dying for the interests of the US, her allies, and by extension, all Americans (whether they understand it or not). They are not dying for Haliburton, oil, or any other ridiculous shit / slant the anti-war types or conspiracy theorists want to spin. Haliburton is a company (among many others, both US and foreign) that seized a chance to profit in REBUILDING Iraq. There is a big difference between that and war-profiteering. Haliburton did not start the war, terrorists and those that support them did. Putting the chicken before the egg just wonβt fly."
-polymath
"[B]efore you [Europeans] write us off as just a bunch of sweaty, hairy-chested, Bible-thumping morons who are more likely to break their fast by dipping a Krispy Kreme into a diet cola than a biscotti into an espresso - and who inexplicably have won more Nobel prizes than all other countries combined,
host 25 or 30 of the world's finest universities and five or six of the world's best symphonies, produce wines that win prizes at your own tasting competitions, have built the world's most vibrant economy, are the world's only military superpower and, so to speak in our spare time, have landed on
the moon and sent our robots to Mars - may I suggest you stop frothing at
the mouth long enough to consider just what are these ideas we hold that you find so silly and repugnant?"
- LynnKramer
"Democracy may have been invented in Greece, but cowardess was invented in France where it lives and thrives to this very day."
- RedTigress
"I'm referring to the Iraqi terrorist bastard fighters. The ones liberals insist are either not in Iraq, or are there by the thousands, depending on which liberal you listen to."
- noguru
"How is it that the Left can believe absolute crazy shit, like the Bush-Saudi Arabian money connection, or the even worse and totally false Bush-bin Laden connection (based on 100% lies) and look at you straight and say there was absolutely no way that Saddam Hussein and Al Qaeda had ties?"
- reducto
I was watching VH1's top 100 1 hit wonders, and Twisted Sister's "We're Not Gonna Take It" was in there somewhere. Well, Dee Snider, of Twisted Sister, was shown on there quite a bit, and I thought he looked surprisingly like Kerry. Well, after a little photoshop makeover, maybe you'll see it too.
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=http://img28.photobucket.com/...
They're twins!! And I thought the guys were republican, playing for Arnold and all.
Do Republicans Hate the Handicap? Kerry May Have Proved We Do
I'm going to stray away from satire here, at least somewhat.
Okay, now bear with me.
Lets say a kid named Jack F. Kerpeys suffers from a multiple personality disorder. One week, Jack thinks girls have cooties, the next he's in love with them, then the next he thinks they have cooties again. All the other kids make fun of him for these sudden changes of heart, but it's not Jack's fault. Jack is suffering from a multiple personality disorder.
I think we can all agree that making fun of the handicapped is pretty low, but what if we change the name of Jack to, du du du dum, John F. Kerry? John Kerry is obviously suffering from a multiple personality disorder, but republicans everywhere make fun of him for it. Well...either that or some sort of fluctuating puberty.
Now you're probably saying, "Man you're smart, how could I be so blind. But why isn't this common knowledge?" Geez! That's a stupid question. It's not common knowledge because of the liberally biased media that won't pick up on conspiracy theories if they involve making fun of the handicapped.
Kerry didn't release all of his medical records, so maybe this is exactly what he's hiding.... It seems to me that one of Kerry's personalities decided it was best to release the documents, but before he could get all of them out, the other personality kicked in.
So have we republicans really stooped so low that we'll make fun of the handicapped? I like to think we haven't, but then I turn on the TV, watch Kerry struggle for hours on end trying to put together a point that nobody understands anyways, and can't help but make fun of him.
Of course, all this makes you ponder the big question... (replace "Timmy" with "Kerry", and "name" with "Vietnam record")
PISS BOY REDUCTO'S PISS AND PISSY DUBYA'S PISS ARE BOTH PISS-LIKE PISS!!
WARNING: THE FOLLOWING MAY NOT BE SUITABLE FOR THOSE WHO LACK A PISS FETISH
*Purely satirical, and now with wav files
Reducto spewing piss at Dubya's mouth with his "good speech" piss about Dubya's pissy performance! He says we whine and bitch, but that's piss! He's the one whining about how good Bush is at his job! We're offering constructive criticizm of Bush's piss-poor job. The truth on Bush's pissy speech can be found here.
"The California Supreme Court began hearing arguments on whether San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom abused his municipal powers when he issued the 4,000 marriage licenses earlier this year.
The seven justices grilled opponents of the licenses, including the California attorney general, as well as attorneys for the city over how much leeway elected officials have to interpret state law.
Legal experts predict Newsom will lose, since the justices are virtually certain to avoid the legal anarchy that could result if local officials can choose which laws to follow.
However, the court used Tuesday's hearing to explore whether San Francisco officials had any authority to interpret the constitutionality of state family law.
"Don't cities make these kinds of preliminary constitutional determinations all the time with respect to the issuance of, say, parade licenses or news rack ordinances?" asked Justice Carlos Moreno.
"Certainly not to this degree, your honor," responded Deputy Attorney General Timothy Muscat. He described San Francisco's actions as a unilateral rewrite of state law that has "completely taken away" the Legislature's power.
Justice Kathryn Werdegar asked Jordan Lorence, a lawyer for the Arizona-based Christian law firm Alliance Defense Fund, whether the couples who obtained the 4,000 licenses should be represented in the arguments.
"I want to acknowledge the great emotions expressed by the couples," Lorence responded. "But this was essentially an act of disobedience. ... There was the disclaimer that the clerk put onto the applications to the licenses saying 'Hey, everyone, I want you to know, these things are of dubious validity."'
California laws defines marriage as a union between a man and woman. In 2000, voters also approved a statewide initiative requiring the state to only recognize a marriage between opposite sexes. "
See!! reducto is full of piss!! He says we hate America but he's the one who hates America! But Bush hates gays, therefore reducto pisses on America! Ten Hut! Be ready to bow down to reducto's new piss-fascist world order! If we don't stop these pissing neo-cons from raping babies and torching retirement homes, reducto will hold our mouths open and piss in our mouths, and all we can say is "Did you bring me a monkey?" when that pisser steals the fascist pissections in November!
Meanwhile, John "I served in Vietnam" Kerry is losinging grips on democratic strongholds to George "I don't work on weekends" Bush tries to fill them with so much piss that the democrats spill over the side into neighboring states.
Several states once seen as "solidly" behind Democratic presidential candidate Sen. John Kerry, including Michigan and New Jersey, have turned into battlegrounds where President Bush is a serious contender. Months ago, Michigan and New Jersey, which are heavily unionized and voted for Al Gore in 2000, were considered beyond Mr. Bush's reach. Now, despite the president's falling national approval rating for his handling of the Iraq war, pollsters say the economic recovery and perception of the president as a strong leader have turned both states in his direction.
[i]Cameras got a close-up view of President Bush's chin Sunday, battered in his bicycle accident Saturday, as Bush celebrated a second daughter's graduation.
But Bush got back on the bike, riding more than 20 miles without falling Sunday, a White House spokesman said. Bush had fallen about 16 miles into a 17-mile ride on his ranch in Crawford.
Bush also spent some time Sunday polishing his Monday night speech on Iraq, one of a series he will be delivering on the subject. But there were few details of the speech. [/i]
Shortly after falling, the president was caught saying "I don't fall down, the son of a bitch knocked me over." I mean, that Secret Service agent was there to protect his life and, oh, wait, wrong person. That doesn't change the fact that biking has long been an American tradition, and if Bush can't keep himself on the bike while riding, he is anti-American. So what if he rode 20 miles without falling, John Fabulous Kerry would've never fallen. No no, John Kerry would've done the smart thing and bought some $6,000 bike that was uncrashable!
Wait, apparently John Kerry also fell of his bike earlier this month.
[i]Earlier this month, Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry took a spill from his bicycle while riding with Secret Service agents through Concord, Mass. Kerry fell when his bike hit a patch of sand. He was not injured.[/i]
But see!! John Kerry wasn't injured!! What kind of president allows himself to be injured after a fall?? A fascist, Haliburtonylousesque one! One bike path at a time, these neo-cons are destroying our beautiful landscape with their faces. Think of the non-Mass. bike paths and vote Kerry!
Despite a barrage of negative press over the Iraqi abuse scandal and skyrocketing gas prices, latest poll data shows President Bush is showing some surprising strength in key states. In some cases his support is surprising.
In New Jersey, a state that Al Gore carried by 16 points in 2000, Bush has surged in the past month.
The latest Quinnipiac University poll released Thursday shows Democrat John Kerry leading Bush by only a small margin, 46 percent to 43 percent.
"Despite all the bad news out of Iraq, President Bush is threatening to make a horse race out of New Jersey, a state everyone had put in the 'safe' column for Kerry," said Clay F. Richards, assistant director of the Quinnipiac University Polling.
And Bush appears to be strong in several battleground states that may prove pivotal come election day.
A Zogby poll released Thursday showed that a majority of Southerners surveyed say they would vote for President Bush if the election were held today.
Significantly, the poll has Bush sweeping the battleground states of Florida, Arkansas and Tennessee.
But another poll out Thursday showed that Florida may be a closer call.
A new American Research Group poll found that Bush and Kerry are tied in Florida with 47 percent each.
Fighting the Civil War was a mistake because all we ever did was bring these neo-con, floogbombling, cortenhoffers back into what could've been the Peoples Republic of America. But once again, republicans decided to screw over the entire country and let these redneck, white trash bogdeemblers vote.
We need somebody in office that will take that bible belt off of their waist and beat them with it. Kerry's the best person for it. He can get into office under the cloak of being Catholic, flip-flop out of that shell, and teach those religious-right wackos who's boss.
And what's up with Jersey? Has pollution leaked into their water supply? If only there were some way I could murder every single Bush supporter in that state, yes...then I could make sure Bush never liberates another country as long as he lives!! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!
As fun as it is just blogging about how much Kerry sucks, it gets old. The liberals get all the fun, so, why not switch sides, eh? No no, I'm not actually switching sides, just "switching sides." They get all the fun with their over-the-top stories about Bush raping small children to further is fascist agenda, when we have to do all the hate-less blogs. So I'll sarcastically blog the other side's points until I'm bored with that. Unfortunately, you may not be able to tell my sarcastic blog apart from a few of the liberal ones. I won't name names, because it might help their ranking on hotblogs when you say to yourself "Why Not go and Check It Out," and they don't need those hits.
I'm thinking of changing the name of my blog until I get tired of this, but can't think of anything at the moment. If you have any ideas...
I Thought Kerry Was Done With All That Communist Stuff
Insiders say John Kerry has settled on "Let America Be America Again" as the motto and theme of his presidential campaign. The line comes from a Langston Hughes poem Kerry quoted at an NAACP event in Kansas. Apparently the pedantic St. Paul's and Yale graduate didn't bother to note that it was written for an International Workers Order (IWO) pamphlet called A New Song. The IWO was an officially cited affiliate of the Communist Party, and Hughes was so committed a Stalinist that he formally endorsed the Bolshevik purges.
So should I expect to see the workers of the world uniting behind Kerry anytime soon?
I just thought I'd list all the good Kerry movies and sound files I can find in one place so I can just come here and look them up when I need to. Now to go and find some of the one's I've used a while back...
I'll try to keep Bush ads out of it, since you've all probably seen plenty of those on tv. Be sure to check back, because I edit movies in as I come across them.
I'm taking a page out of Dilbert and the Way of the Weasel.
"Weasel Debating Technique #2: Make comparisons to Hitler. This is a surprisingly flexible technique because Hitler was a busy guy. He did everything from eating to painting landscapes to attacking the world. So if someone argues that napping is good for you, point out that Hitler liked napping too."
So it's time for some gun quotes, most courtesy of this place. I'll start off with Hitler.
The most foolish mistake we could possibly make would be to allow the subjected people to carry arms. History shows that all conquerors who have allowed their subjected peoples to carry arms have prepared their own downfall by so doing. Indeed, I would go so far as to say that the underdog is a sine qua non ["something essential" lit. "without which not"] for the overthrow of any sovereignty. So let's not have any native militia or police.
-- Adolph Hitler, Edict of March 18, 1938
Germans who wish to use firearms should join the SS or the SA - ordinary citizens don't need guns, as their having guns doesn't serve the State.
Heinrich Himmler
Laws that forbid the carrying of arms... disarm only those who are neither inclined nor determined to commit crimes... Such laws make things worse for the assaulted and better for the assailants; they serve rather to encourage than to prevent homicides, for an unarmed man may be attacked with greater confidence than an armed man.
Jefferson's "Commonplace Book," 1774-1776, quoting from On Crimes and Punishment, by criminologist Cesare Beccaria, 1764
To preserve liberty, it is essential that the whole body of people always possess arms, and be taught alike, especially when young, how to use them...
Richard Henry Lee, 1787
Are we at last brought to such humiliating and debasing degradation, that we cannot be trusted with arms for our defense? ... If our defense be the real object of having those arms, in whose hands can they be trusted with more propriety, or equal safety to us, as in our own hands?
Patrick Henry
The world is filled with violence. Because criminals carry guns, we decent law-abiding citizens should also have guns. Otherwise they will win and the decent people will lose.
James Earl Jones, Actor
Among the many misdeeds of the British rule in India, history will look upon the act of depriving a whole nation of arms, as the blackest.
Mahatma Ghandi, "Gandhi, An Autobiography", page 446
In a polity, each citizen is to possess his own arms, which are not supplied or owned by the state.
Aristotle
We cannot be so fixated on our desire to preserve the rights of ordinary Americans.
B.J.Clinton, USA Today, 3/11/93 page 2A
"If someone has a gun and is trying to kill you, it would be reasonable to shoot back with your own gun."
According to the Washington Times 2,000 moms showed up in front of the capitol for their anti-gun march.
The sunny day drew thousands of people to the West Lawn of the U.S. Capitol to sing, dance, pray, reflect, and shout. The crowd was a beautiful cross-section of America with people of all ages and religions, from cities and suburbs, uniting behind the common concern that assault weapons could be back on our streets this September.
Yes, thousands!! The crowd was also laced with people of different genders, don't ask me why. Now I know there are more than 2,000 moms in D.C. alone, and we all know how crime-ridden D.C. is, so you'd think they'd get a little more support. I just thought it was funny that the million mom march drew 2,000.
[i]On May 11, by a vote of 59 to 40, the Senate narrowly failed to pass by one vote an amendment that would have extended unemployment benefits. (Sixty votes are necessary to waive the Budget Act to allow spending above the budget agreement.) As the only Senator missing from the vote, presidential hopeful Sen. John Kerry's (D.-Mass.) absence handed the conservatives a fiscal victory. Kerry would most likely have supported the amendment, thus allowing it to pass. Missing votes is not a new phenomenon for Kerry. According to the Republican National Committee, Kerry missed 65 % of roll call votes during the 108th Congress (through March 5, 2004). [/i]
HA! Does Kerry really need any ridiculing after this? I think he's probably already wallowing in self pity at his 4.9 million dollar Idaho vacation home. I wonder what his next sly way of cheating Americans out of their votes will be, I'm thinking New Hampshire recount.
The story he told was different from what his crewmen had to say about that night. According to Kerry, they had been engaged in a fire fight, receiving small arms fire from on shore. He said that his injury resulted from this enemy action.
Some of his crew confided that they did not receive any fire from shore, but that Kerry had fired a mortar round at close range to some rocks on shore. The crewman thought that the injury was caused by a fragment ricocheting from that mortar round when it struck the rocks.
Okay, there was no heat of battle, so right off, we know his injury didn't qualify for the Purple Heart. That and the fact that his wound was covered with a band-aid is really tarnishing the image the Purple Heart has.
Can you Get Purple Hearts for Self-Inflicted Wounds? Apparently
I was just about to get some sleep, but opened my e-mail from The Federalist and guess what I found?
Additionally, the physician who treated Kerry's first combat wound came forward this week, recalling Kerry as the man who even then claimed he'd be "the next JFK from Massachusetts." Louis Letson, now a retired medical doctor, recalled the encounter in which Kerry attributed the superficial wound to incoming enemy fire -- although other crew members said Kerry likely injured himself with a ricocheted fragment from a mortar round fired into nearby rocks. Dr. Letson remembered the metal fragment as barely having broken the skin and easily removed with forceps; in fact, he covered the wound with a Band-Aid.
Also weighing in was retired Lt. Commander Grant Hibbard, who commanded Kerry's swift-boat unit. Hibbard questions whether the aforementioned scratch was worthy of a Purple Heart -- and he questions how Kerry got it. "The briefing from some members of that crew the morning after revealed that they had not received enemy fire," Hibbard said. "and yet Lieutenant Kerry informed me of a wound, he showed me a scratch on his arm and a piece of shrapnel in his hand that appeared to be from one of our own M-79s. It was later reported to me that Lieutenant Kerry had fired an M-79 and it had exploded off the adjacent shoreline. I do not recall being advised of any medical treatment and probably said something like, 'Forget it.' He later received a Purple Heart for that scratch, and I don't know how." The group has pushed Kerry to allow the Navy to release his complete medical and service records.
Well how about that. I'm no expert on when medals should be given, but I'm willing to bet that wasn't the right circumstance. Oh well, I know, Bush is satan.
I'm not Canadian, so I can only hope the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation (CBC) isn't at all a popular news station, but something tells me it is.
Apparently, the CBC thinks voting doesn't matter, after all, it's not like voting has never been a part of Democracy, right...? I found it hard to believe, but look for yourself.
Planning to vote in the upcoming election? Why bother?
Ghomeshi goes on the road with a campaign that reflects the sentiments of young Canadians across the country. According to Elections Canada, barely 25 per cent of Canadians between 18 and 24 years old voted in the 2000 federal election.
So you'd think they'd be trying to increase that number rather than decrease it, wouldn't you? Of course not, that's neo-con fascist thinking. Now lets take a look at the logic behind this one.
If earnest and well-meaning political efforts to appeal to youth are met with apathy and cynicism, will the irony of Ghomeshis counter-campaign tempt young people to get involved?
Yeah right. And will food poisoning from a burger at a particular fast-food joint tempt me to keep running back there every day for lunch? It's the political equivalent of throwing in the towel, firing up the bong, and flopping down on mom and dad's couch with a bag of Doritos after your 2-month job search has "got you all bummed out, man." Then again, liberals are big fans of dictators like North Korea's Kim Jong Il and Cuba's Fidel Castro--both who would certainly agree that voting is a very bad idea. If these are the types of societies liberals are striving to engineer, then they're definitely on the right track in terms of their messaging.
In the USA, only 42% of young people ages 18-24 bothered to vote in the last presidential election. In other years, the number plummeted even further. In Canada, the figure is even more dismal, with a mere 26% of young Canadians bothering to exercise their democratic right. In the US, young voters comprise 8% of the general electorate, and in Canada they wield 18% of the voting power. Given that the last election in the US was a horse race that ended up having to be decided by a Supreme Court vote, whichever party that proves itself capable of mobilizing and energizing that 8% would be guaranteed victory. Similarly, in Canada, judging by current polling figures, the 18% youth vote would be enough to vault even the third-place party into governance. The reality is that if young people voted as a block in either country, the power to shape the direction of their country would rest entirely in their hands. Unfortunately, it's no easy task cutting through the mindless propaganda put out by ignorant "screw the vote" liberals and the marketing geniuses at the Urban Outfitters clothing company who recently came up with the brilliant, socially-responsible t-shirt that declares "voting is for old people".
Liberal logic never ceases to amaze me. And they wonder why we make fun of them. Vive la Canada!
I was reading Newsweek's article on Teresa Heinz earlier today, and considering she's the wife of John Waffles Kerry, she doesn't seem that bad.
Maybe it's because she was a registered republican up until last year and doesn't share the same political views Kerry does, which isn't saying much since Kerry doesn't seem to have any clear political views. '
Teresa told Newsweek "I'm more old-fashioned than a lot of women...I don't view abortion as just a nothing. It is stopping the process of life."
But then you have John Kerry out at a pro-choice rally saying this "I believe that in the year 2004 we deserve a president who understands that a stronger America is where women's rights are just that, rights, not political weapons to be used by politicians of this nation."
Lets go ahead and write Jon Stewart's response to that.
"And if you were to point out that I, myself, am using women's rights as a political weapon, I would...cry."
So if John Kerry manages to somehow win this election, then maybe we'll have someone in that Whitehouse to keep him in line.
John Kerry was giving a big speech about the environment and a reporter asked him if he owned a SUV and he said, "No I do not." And then the reporter asked him "What about the Chevy Suburban in the driveway?" He said "That's my wife's."
Ok, now what's up with that? What if Laura Bush was having a baby, and opted for an abortion? If Bush later said "That's not my abortion, that's my wife's," that wouldn't stand, so why should this? The pro-life crowd would be on Bush like purple hearts on Kerry. So the environmentalist Kerry crowd should get a clue.
Kerry also seems to be claiming all his cars are made in America. Of course the word all is meant to be taken lightly. His (not his wife's) Chrysler 300M turns out to be made in Canada.
At last count, there were eight ``family'' cars and SUVs, including the 1995 Suburban (15 mpg highway, 12 mpg city), a 1993 Land Rover Defender (12 mpg highway, 10 mpg city), a 1989 Jeep Cherokee (20 mpg highway, 16 mpg city), a 1994 Jeep Grand Cherokee (20 mpg highway, 15 mpg city), a 2001 Audi Allroad (21 mpg highway, 15 mpg city), a 2001 Chrysler PT Cruiser (25 mpg highway, 20 mpg city), a 1985 Dodge 600 Convertible (26 mpg highway, 23 mpg city), and a 2002 Chrysler 300M (26 mpg highway, 18 mpg city). Kerry, however, only owns up to the latter two.
Then there's the 2002 Harley Davidson (his), two powerboats (one his, one hers), a power inflatable 2001 Novurania (his), and a Gulfstream II private jet (hers).
President Kerry would have to open his own pipeline in Saudi Arabia just to meet family fuel demand.
Don't worry everybody, I'm sure he'll find some way to flip and flop his way right out of this vehicular conundrum he's gotten himself into.
